Sugar Momma by Marquetta Price

Growing up I was always the child that said I wouldn’t EVER have any children, because being an only child we tend to be a little selfish and we can’t relate to other children since we’re always around adults.  Fast forward to December 1990 I married my high school sweetheart (Yeah that worked out); we worked and traveled a lot! We enjoyed life to the fullest extent and watched as our friends around us started families. Of course the inevitable happens and I get pregnant much to everyone’s surprise.

Fast forward – I give birth and I feel this agape type love like I’ve never felt I could possibly have for any one person when she was born. Thus begins what I’d like to call: The Set Up. Oh yeah she charmed me, manipulated me, guilted me, hell she even peed on me; and I took it with a smile. All of this before she was 3 hours old. Yep, I was her instant Sugar Momma.

When my ex and I divorced I tried to fill the void of having a part time father by being her everything and taking her everywhere and exposing her to all that I could. Showing her the world is hers to do as she wanted. Birthdays came and went and time just kept ticking along and that’s when I was hit with what I’d like to call: The Blindside.

See this funny thing happens when they get to be between ten and thirteen years old, they develop this thing called “friendships” and begin to bond with others outside of the circle of me and her. I felt like a one night stand with money on the nightstand as she walks out the door and I whispered “call me” knowing the call would only come on an as needed basis but yet holding out hope that she would still see me as a valued member of her life. (Yeah I’ll let you know how that worked out for me).

Then that’s when we transitioned into this thing called: The Fake Out. See the Fake Out happens between 14 – 16 ½ years old. She’s my friend again and I’m so cool, although I know this feeling is fleeting, I’ll take it because after all I am her Sugar Momma. By now she has me thoroughly entrenched to all that it is about her performances, awards, practices, etc…you get it. I feel this renewed sense of being needed all over again and I’m happy. But I have this voice whispering “tick, tock, tick, tock”. But I refuse to pay attention, and as time passes that voice stops whispering and on her 17th birthday that voice yelled at me “TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK!”

That’s when this thing I like to call: The Reality Gut Buster happens. It’s her senior year, college is inevitable and this creature I created and cared for since before birth is leaving me. How DARE she even consider it! But not only did she consider, she is doing it, off to Florida to go to her next destination in life and there ain’t a dang thang I can do about it.

For me the tears, the negotiating, the considering of moving to Florida, the worry, the anger all types of emotions I didn’t think I could have for this one person surface and still love her. Someone to whom I gave my entire self without a backwards glance is leaving me. But the most important emotion I could have for her after realizing I have given her the tools to survive on her own is acceptance, joy, encouragement and more importantly strength. The strength to push the baby bird out of the nest and do it with a smile, (and hidden tears) and watch her soar to her next phase in life and be the success I know she can be and support all her dreams, because that what I am supposed to do, after all I am her Sugar Momma


2 comments so far

  1. Delina Hill-Brooker on

    I fell in love with this blog all over again when I read it. I know how much you love your ‘baby’. You’ve done an awesome job raising her. =D

  2. Keri wimberly-brown on

    Well received. Empty nest syndrome,can be a difficult transition,initially. I can remember when my last son left home,I cried like a newborn baby. The day that he left, I couldn’t believe all the emotions that I seemed to go through. Trying to remain strong, I did not want to breakdown in front of him but as soon as the last hugs were given and the front door had been shut, my knees buckled and I sat there in the middle of my front room floor asking God to help me. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I had been many things, but what was constant for years was being a mother with children who needed her. For me, the letting go was difficult. What brings me comfort is that I accept that I created these people who are capable of taking care of themselves, which makes me phenomenal. Besides I realized that they will always need a faithful cheerleader, sugar momma, so I cheer them on from the sidelines, even when they do not know it. Soon you will start to find new causes to support, more time for yourself, or a new grove and it will rewarding. And knowing you, you’ll be great.

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