Losing It All Over Nothing by Angenita Williams-Childs

image courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net

I don’t get it.

How can an argument between a man and a woman end up with a lost or damaged career, felony charges, and a bad reputation? Well, let’s ask those who have been through it through the eyes of the media, from the old school to now.

Ike and Tina Turner

By now, I’m sure everyone has seen “What’s Love Got to do With It.” The movie is based on Tina Turner’s book, I, Tina, published in 1986. The story depicts this little country girl’s rise to fame due to the makings of her abusive husband, with whom she stayed with, and endured the abuse for decades. This woman went through hell, and made it through. And through all the broken jaws, bruises, swollen lips, and black eyes, she is one of the most well known singers of all time. But, did Ike ever go to jail for abusing her? What happened to his reputation? And although many people knew about the abuse, why was it kept such a “secret?” I’ll tell you why – the times.

Back in the day, domestic abuse was always hush-hush, and “What goes on in this house stays in this house.” Unless it got particularly ugly, domestic abuse is rarely reported. And, domestic abuse includes more than just physical harm, it’s emotionally, and mentally damaging as well.  But then, in the 60’s and 70’s, it wasn’t talked about; it was accepted. And Tina Turner is a survivor. Ike went to jail on other things, but he never served a day for the pain he caused Tina Turner, and that was unfair. She got justice in a roundabout way, but never directly. But I guess the best revenge was to make it without him.

Chris Brown and Rihanna

Fast forward to a few years ago…Chris Brown, America’s baby boy, and Rihanna, Def Jam’s mini Beyonce, were hot, heavy, and heated. They were seen everywhere together. At this party…at that party…they worked on songs, and had a fast, budding romance. But one night, it turned really ugly, and Chris was a wanted man.

Now, I was on the fence about this one, and only because of the reports I read. She was the one clowing at the party; just acting a fool. At what point does one just snap? Did he have a right to beat her up that bad? No. Did she deserve it? No one does, but you reap what you sow, and if you are sowing that type of aura, you can’t be surprised at what you get back. However, this relationship is the classic cycle: his reputation was tarnished, while sympathy poured for her. His career almost completely tanked while hers soared. How can that be if they were both a part of the issue? Ah, and then comes “Birthday Cake” a few years later. Her lyrics state “Don’t try to hide it, I’ma make you my b****…” Then Chris says,  “Girl I wanna f*** you right now, been a long time, I’ve been missing your body.”


Didn’t she get you locked up, on probation, and almost end your career? Was that a subliminal message that they would get back together? After all that? Typical.

Chad and Evelyn

And now, Evelyn and Chad. I have no idea what to say about this one. Although I didn’t have the displeasure of watching “Basketball Wives” on VH-1, I heard so many people talking about how this woman was always throwing something, or trying to fight somebody. She kept mess going, and showed her behind on national TV. Then she meets and marries Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson; a football player with a strong personality, and a love of women. Recipe for disaster.

I heard that he told Evelyn that he couldn’t just be with one woman. I also heard that she told him to just stay protected. And when she found the condoms, she got angry. My question is, “Why?” She basically told her man that he could cheat as long as he was protected. Now, knowing her history, did she hit him? More than likely she threw something at him, and called him all kinds of whatchajiggas, and whodawhats. She strikes me as the type of person that will do and say whatever to get attention. Now, does it make it right for him to head butt her? Well, that depends. If she ran up on him, and he defended himself then maybe. If not, then no. I mean, I’m pretty sure he could have held her down until she calmed down, but it’s about first reaction.

He could have left. Did he try to? Did she try to stop him? Who knows? However, the damage is already done. His football career – over. The reality show they had together* – over. Basically their reason for being – over. So what will they do?

Not once do I condone domestic abuse. I watched it. I lived it. But I do understand that it works both ways. Someone is the enabler, someone is the provoke artist, and someone is the exploder – and each one is wrong. And often times, one person can be two of the three. Let’s not mention those who fake domestic abuse charges to gain some type of edge or to get some kind of revenge for a soured relationship.  

Can you tell who is who in these three couples?

Domestic abuse has to stop. Walk away before it gets worse. And that’s for the abuser and the abusee. Nothing good ever comes out of those situations. Imagine how the kids felt, or will feel. I don’t have to imagine. I know.

*Side note: VH-1 had the nerve to cancel their show after perpetuating grown women acting a fool for ratings…I’m just saying…*




1 comment so far

  1. Nikki G on

    Well said!

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