Dear Grandma by Angenita Williams

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Dear Grandma,

First, let me say…I really miss you.

On this beautiful day, I reminisce on your love.

It’s been almost five years now. I will never forget the day I walked in your room. You were having a hard time. You took off your mask, and looked at me. I said, “Grandma, you need that.” I reached over to you to put it on, and you smacked the hell outta me. I laugh about it now because it reminds me of how feisty you were. I was like, “OK, did she just hit me?” And the look on your face said, “I sure in the hell did. Now try it again.” You kept fighting me. Although I long gave up on the mask, you fought a good few minutes and worked yourself right out of breath. I called the nurse, remember? When I called her, tears streamed down my face as you dozed off.

She walked in and rubbed my back. Ariana looked on. “Don’t let her see you like this. Be strong…for her,” she said.

I straightened up. I bent over, kissed you, and whispered, “I love you.”

Seven A.M. Sunday morning, I got the call.

“Angel, Momma…Momma gone…” Momma said. I immediately let out a wail. I just saw you. It hurt me so badly. I had to see you that day. For whatever reason, Grandma, I had to pay you a visit. I didn’t think that would be your last.

Remember that pretty poem talking about “The First Lady” in my family? The one I framed on a Mother’s Day, and you proudly displayed? I tweaked it just a bit and read it at your homegoing service. What’s funny is that when I read the line about the pretty blue bath water and the pink powder puff, half your grandkids all nodded and smiled. Some of us didn’t live down South, and didn’t get to experience it. But those that did remembered them like yesterday. You gave awesome baths, Grandma.

You made awesome homemade biscuits. And never gave me the recipe. I guess it was one you were gonna keep all to yourself. LOL.

I could come see you and curl up with you as an adult. I could call you and let you make me laugh at some extremely country saying. Your voice carried love. You embodied love.

I remember how you always did little things for me…a doll here, some socks there, trips to Johnny Rye’s store. As much watermelon I wanted. However many oranges I wanted. To sum it up, whatever I wanted. You gave me jewelry. I could be me and just imagine things with you. You listened to every story I made up. And laugh! Now that I think about it, were you were laughing AT me or with me? LOL! Grandma!

I remember when you told me that I had piano hands.

“Angel, them long fangas belong on a piano. Why don’ cha take lessons?”

“I don’t think I would like that Grandma. Renea plays the piano. She teaches me some of what she does. I don’t know if she really like it though,” I replied.

“Do somethin’ with yo’ hands. They too long for you not to,” you said.

I remember countless nights at your house. The awesome baths. The wonderful, soft beds. The glorious meals. And Frosted Flakes. All the dirt I could play in. All the space for running around. But I think the funniest is when you asked me to get a ‘banch’ from outside, and I was confused about what you asked me for. I moved to Indianapolis about three years before. I thought I was ‘citified.’

I asked to you repeat it. You said, “That banch on the porch. Right there on the porch!” I was clueless as to what you asked me for. Then you showed me the bench. “OOOOOO, you meant the bench?”

You gave me the craziest look and said, “I told you the banch!”

I remember the first stroke. I came to the hospital. You didn’t remember me. I cried so hard. It felt like I was forgotten. But you saw Ariana and said, “Well, there’s my Angel.” You remembered me as a toddler, and that comforted me. You didn’t know the adult me, but you knew the me you helped take care of.  I gave you the biggest kiss on your forehead. You smiled. So did I.

I mean, can you believe that I, too, am a grandmother? Since I am little young, YaYa is MY name. I know you know all that though. I know you are smiling down on all of us. I remember how much you loved babies. I swore whenever either one of my grandchildren smiled in their sleep, your spirit was with them.

I really miss the comfort you gave me. Sometimes, when things get heavy, I really need you. I find myself remembering your hugs and kisses. I smile through my tears. 

I think I speak for everybody when I say life ain’t the same without you…

Happy Birthday, Grandma.

Love,

 

Angel

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1 comment so far

  1. Tameka on

    Angel I have tears falling from my face… Granny I do remember all the baths and watermelon man those were the good days. Yes me and Tasha stayed in the dirt and the only thing she would say is”Chile let them kids play” with dirt everywhere lol…. Just a little summin I was thinking about but yes the first lady Mrs. Mary Elizabeth Jones I love you 😥and misses you dearly…. Until we meet again😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘


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