Surrender by Delina Hill-Brooker

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According to Merriam Webster, the definition of the word surrender is:

  1. to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand surrendered the fort;
  2. to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another
  3. to give (oneself) up into the power of another especially as a prisoner
  4. to give (oneself) over to something (as an influence)
  5. to give oneself up into the power of another

Any and all of these variations of the definition can be more than scary, terrifying even if you are the one who has been called to surrender.

I was watching Oprah’s Next Chapter with Gloria Estefan the other day. She spoke in great detail about the accident that could have prevented her from not only walking, but also doing for herself at all. She spoke of how she did not have the ability to even sit up on her own, not to mention wash or go to the bathroom. I remember hearing about the accident when I was in grade school. I was already a fan, but my teacher Mrs. Robbins was a die-hard fan and we did a tribute for her – in her honor in our end of the year fifth grade play. And although I was moved by her strength and courage at the time, to hear it again as an adult made my heart hurt. I know my husband would tenderly care for my needs if it were required, no matter how hard it was, as would I; even though I know it is gruesomely hard for the now caregiver, it has to be even more overwhelmingly difficult for the person who has had no choice, but to surrender, because even with your body forcing you to, it’s not that easy for your mind.

I also watched Ilyana Fix My Life and a couple was constantly arguing.  The wife was very combative. Essentially, the husband became a doormat to keep from physically fighting back and hurting her. Ilyana had her lay on the floor and kick and hit the ground while yelling, I’m a control freak! The lady burst into tears because, that’s how it is when someone puts a mirror in your face, and shows you EXACTLY who and what you are. Then Ilyana took her cell phone and sent her to a hotel and didn’t explain how her two small girls would be picked up and cared for. All she said was, “You have as husband.” I couldn’t help but feel like I was the wife and mother whose cell had just been taken from me. I wanted to throw my own tantrum on the floor and yell I’m a control freak! She would not have her cell for the rest of the night. *dramatic fall out with arms flailing, followed by an equally dramatic slow slide down the wall falling on the floor in a lifeless slump.*

I guess that is my lesson of the week; to surrender all that I do not have the control or power over. It’s hard, scary and it eats up every part of your being, but if you were really in control, it would not have that effect on you. So basically, you are just agreeing to stop fighting the fight that is not yours to fight. Surrendering is the hardest and easiest thing to do. Think on that.

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