Life’s Mistakes by Angenita Williams

mistake

 

This has been a trying week or two for me on more levels than one. Many don’t know what I’ve gone through because I try not to speak about what my issues are. Most of the time, I suffer in silence as I work through whatever is going on.

I’ve had some drama – and anyone that knows me knows drama is totally not my thing. I think unnecessary drama is a waste of life. And I don’t know about anybody else, but life is too short to entertain drama. Some I ‘unintentionally’ brought on myself. Some I didn’t.

See, I’m my biggest critic. So when I make a mistake KNOWING that the outcome isn’t going to be anything good, I shoot my foot off. When I don’t listen to my gut, I get queasy. When I ignore all the bells going off inside my mind, I have to pick my face up off the ground. I get mad – not at the situation – but at myself for making that wrong turn. I beat myself up – just black and blue my spirit and spunk. Typically my feelings get hurt, but always wanting to look at the best in people is a blessing and a curse at the same time. It leaves me pretty open to chance, and that’s a good, but bad thing.

Another thing I don’t get is bringing on drama, especially through social media. Hiding behind keyboards is dangerous. Why not just confront the situation head on? Could it be fear? Why put everybody’s business on blast BUT your own?

I admit I’ve made some huge mistakes in my life. And those mistakes lead me to be who I am today. If I was perfect, I wouldn’t have the life knowledge needed to navigate this life I was blessed with. My mistakes were hidden testimonies to divert someone else. But until I realized that, I constantly beat myself into the ground. I then realized that although my after-mistake feelings always make me want to beat myself up because I knew better, my pain helps someone around me to be better. In turn, that makes me a better person.

Another thing about mistakes is that if you continue to repeat the same ones, you are not learning the lessons God has put you here to learn. So you are a shell of what a living human is supposed to be. If you are the same person you were ten years ago, then something is not right. It’s time for a self-evaluation. It’s time to be real with who and what you are. And if that means that you are just a screw-up, admit it and be happy in it. You don’t have to apologize for who and what you are. The key is to simply admit your shortcomings. That way, when someone calls you out on them, you can smile and say, “Yeah, I know.”

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