Understand…Something… by Angenita Williams


Ok. The madness with dating has to stop.

Like seriously.

For the life of me, I cannot understand why no one wants to put in any effort to actually date. Like, how can you tell a woman who works her behind off that you live in an Extended Stay hotel because you don’t want to pay a high gas bill? Especially AFTER she advises that she works two jobs…

How can you tell a woman who works her behind off that when she can find something to do for free, then you can date? But in the same breath, you are going out with your friends to a club? Who does that?

Excuse me? Am I not worth a movie? A dinner? Something a little creative? After all, aren’t you establishing how the relationship could go? Aren’t you trying to give me the ideal that you are the one? I mean, that sets the stage for the relationship. I have to fall in line and go along with what your timetable is for intimacy, but I can’t get a burger? A salad? Some prime rib? Excuse me?

For the record, I am not against free dates. If they are creative, it shows you put some thought behind them. But you cannot force them down my throat because…well…frankly…you are more than likely…broke…or even more likely…cheap. And I understand that not everyone has money to splurge on nice evenings…hey I don’t. But, if you are willing to throw some thought in with your fifty-cents, it will go a long way.

The proverbial “I miss you” when you have never even met me in person, never really talked to me, never went beyond a simple, “Hello,” is quite frankly…a lie. And it doesn’t flatter me. When you are asked if that really works, and you reply with, “Yes. Just not on you,” that speaks a great deal about your character, and what your intensions really are.

Not to mention, the “I am putting my bid in to be your man,” but only from Monday – Friday. On the weekends…not a word. But rest assured, on Monday morning at approximately 7:00 AM – the text will come through.

And the list goes on.

And I don’t mean to be hard on the men…but…where is the maturity level? Where are the men who actually value a woman and all she entails? What about courtship and getting to know? Establishing foundations? Oh – I forgot. It’s about hooking up, catching feelings, and then ending the “relationship.”

What this experience has shown me is that I have grown to love and respect myself more. I no longer jump and try to fit into what a man wants me to be, I am no longer flattered with futile compliments, and I refuse to settle for less than what I deserve. I am worthy to be treated as well or better than how I treat men. I no longer base my self-worth on my relationship status. I am not so desperate that I just simply accept any and everything just to say I have a man.

Simply put – I AM A GROWN WOMAN. Approach and treat me as such.



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