Archive for the ‘love yourself’ Tag

Are You A Groupie? By Angenita Williams



Are you a groupie?

Merriam-Webster says a groupie is a noun that means a fan of a music group who follows the group on concert tours.

Urban dictionary says a groupie is a young woman, often under age, who seeks to achieve status by having sex with rock musicians, roadies, security, and other band-related guys.

Does that describe anyone you know?

I heard the song Groupie Love by an indie artist Young Mac about a year ago. (Check the photo.) The more I listened to it, the more I really get it. Although the title would have you thinking otherwise, it’s obvious that the woman being described in the song is a hurting woman.

“I can tell it’s groupie love cause she aiming to get rich.”

Listening to the lyrics on the surface would have you think the narrator is talking about the typical groupie – backstage at all the shows. Heels on point. Body a ten. Making sure she gets chosen. But a deeper listening reveals that this “groupie” isn’t typical…she has the “aim” to get rich…but the “rich” isn’t the rich that one thinks of when they speak of rich.

In this aspect, rich means love. She wants to be rich…in love… jumping from body to body in search of this elusive love…the love that every girl dreams of. Yearns for. And when that love isn’t there, then substitutes are there to take the place…money…attention…sex. Selling herself short for the illusion of desire. She’s broken. And the narrator tells her, “I can feel your pressure.”

How much pressure are we under to find love? For us single ladies that are 35 and up, how much pressure do we bear when we wake up next to pillows every morning? When you just wanna hug and hear a deep masculine voice say it’s gonna be alright? I know…Momma never said there would be days like that….because Momma never let it show that there ARE days like that.

Navigating the world of relationships is real tricky. Mainly because everyone has baggage to unload, and everyone wants to remain selfish….when love has nothing to do with selfishness…it’s so selfless. You willingly give your all because love is about growing the other person, not what you can get out of them or from them. You have to make sure that person has your best interest at heart…But you can’t wait too late or you’ll end up broken and bitter.

Self-love is the key to deflating the pressures of being single. No one can love you if you don’t love you, and if you don’t love you, you can’t possibly love anyone else. So for the groupies in the world….take a pause…love you…Nothing will give you more satisfaction until you realize that love you seek is right there in you…

“Go ‘head and show that groupie love…go ‘head, you know that groupie love….”


A Destiny


My Destiny is not thrived on

What’s between my hips and thighs


Is comprised of what’s behind my eyes

And what sits in the middle of my chest,

Not both sides.

See my Body

Ain’t shit

Without the Brain

Telling it what to do

And the Brain is telling me

That wetness ain’t success




Get me


But to the lands of



LowEsteem and

I refuse to go there

Since I’ve been

There on several trips

And stayed far too long

I wore out my


I decided

My Destiny

Is a growth of me

A growth of life



Love of Self

To go with My wicked, previously conflicted, and gifted Pen, moving like lightening

Tryin’ to catch my tongue’s


As they fall freely

On the paper

Nixing out

Nay Sayers

Killing those

Who choose

To speak Venom

Towards me


My Destiny is to

Let my Pen



To SelfDoubt

And SelfLoathing

See my Destiny

Is to bring death

To inner Mayhem

Bringing forth powerful

Mind surges

And heart orgasms

Felt unlike never before

My Destiny is to be not

A voice

But a reader’s Friend

Going from their eyes

Into their minds

To bring forth

Their own inner


My…my… Destiny is

To annihilate

SelfHate through these words

My Destiny is to write Joy

Bring a new kinda Love

To those who otherwise

Would not have any

But most of all

To that little girl

Lost in those cities of

NoWorth, LowEsteem, SelfHate

SelfDoubt, SelfLoathing, and


Guiding her to the light side…

And transforming her

Into a carbon copy of

My Destiny

In My Mind – by Angenita Childs

For the last few weeks, I’ve been listening to the same few songs on my Blackberry. These songs are reminiscent of a time in my life where I was struggling through something.  Most would think I was crazy to listen to the words of “5 Miles to Empty”, “Real Love” and “Nothing Left to Say”. I even have Vivian Green’s “Cursed” in the loop more than once.

As I listen to these words, I think about how I felt then, and how I feel now. Some of those same things are in me today. Only difference? I’m listening to them with a renewed heart, a renewed strength, so instead of shedding tears at the first chords of the songs, I’m thinking of what it is that I really want in life. “I need a good man to fill me up, I need a good man to give me love,” Brownstone sings, and I feel that to the heart.  But for a good man to fill me up and give me love, I have to love me so that I know what real love is when I see it, and it not be what I think it should be based on false pretenses, false words, and false hopes. Real love isn’t the fantasy of Prince Charming. Real love is based on respect, honesty and dignity.

“Love was so strong, at least in the beginning who would have thought there’d ever be an ending.” Mint Condition captures my whole experience because those words have fallen on me more than once.  Those words, they hurt, and they hurt deeply. I’ve thought many relationships I’ve had would be that one to last and I wouldn’t have to look any further, however each one ended. “They say if you love something, you’ve got to let it go, and if it comes back, then it means so much more. But if it never does, at least you will know, that it was something you had to go through to grow.” Heather Headley was right. Now I find strength in the fact that I can realize that sometimes, there has to be an ending for people to grow. And although I’m not perfectly happy with that, I understand that stagnant relationships are toxic, and neither party can be truly happy in a limbo state. Where there is no growth, there is no life, and I have more life to live.

“Don’t be afraid of the way you feel. Open your heart and you’ll see it’s real. It’s real love.” Skyy released this song in the eighties, and the same message applies. People still run from love. Through all the pain and things I’ve experienced in my life, I won’t run from it. I aspire to be there.  I know that one day, I’ll have that real true love that grows, and carries me to heights I’ve never reached before. I still have hope that my guy will find me. He won’t give me that crazy fantasy that I’ve had; he’ll give me that real live, real love through support, caring, openness, sharing, tenderness, and understanding. He’ll encourage me, tell me when I’m wrong, and be my friend.

But, before he can do that, I need to be my own best friend; be a better person. I need to bring all of me, not just the parts I want to be known. Be strong in my daily. Be ready to receive what he gives, and ready to give what I receive. Because if I can’t reciprocate, I’ll be right back in the same boat: stagnant relationship without growth, eventually going through another ending. Looking to the outside to give me everything I want isn’t reality, so before I can expect for someone else to give all that to me, I’ve gotta give it all to myself. Then, and only then, will I attract that person to me, and he’ll love me for exactly who I am. And, while it won’t be “perfect”, it will be real.

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